Dating is a minefield – and a first date can often feel particularly incendiary, with those involved usually a bag of nerves, paranoid about saying or doing the wrong thing.

No one knows this better than relationship expert Jacob Lucas, 31. And he’s here to help.

The ‘Her Dating Coach’ author has more than 750,000 followers on his TikTok channel ‘jacoblucas101‘, and here shares his top tips for making sure a first date is fun, even if you don’t hit it off with your companion.

DURATION 

How long you spend with your date is ‘such an important part of the process’, according to Lucas, who believes three hours is ‘the perfect time to spend’ on a first date.

‘Three hours gives you enough time to get to know each other,’ he tells MailOnline Travel. 

‘And because the date isn’t too long, you will leave them wanting more, which is great when building attraction.’

The dating guru, from Wiltshire, warns that those who stay longer during the initial meeting ‘risk the date turning stale’, but if you leave too soon, your date may think you are not interested in them.

‘With the mix of dating nerves and excitement it’s easy to get tired quickly when dating because your social battery runs out faster than when you’re hanging out with friends,’ he says.

‘If you spend too long on a date, you may not come across as the best version of yourself, and it may harm your chances of getting a second date.

‘However, if the date is too short then it’s very hard to get to know each other. You need time to be able to invest in the conversation with the person you’re dating to see if you are both compatible.’

LOCATION

Lucas says keeping the date relaxed and casual is key to combatting any first-date nerves.

The dating whizz recommends a coffee shop or a cocktail bar for the first meeting, which he says offer the ‘best of both worlds’ whether your date goes well or not.

‘These types of dates are great because if you don’t like the person, you will only have to endure the time it takes for you to have one drink and then you can leave in a polite manner,’ he says.

‘However, if you like that person and want to continue getting to know them then you can order another drink and go for a nice walk after your coffee. Best of both worlds.’

Another key tip from Lucas is to ‘always remember to go somewhere public’.

He adds: ‘It’s much safer and sets the right tone for you to get to know each other without it feeling too intimate too soon.’

Places to avoid on a first date? The cinema, Lucas says, because ‘you will both be focused on the film and not each other and it makes it difficult to talk’.

This is also the case for high-energy, activity-based dates, he suggests, which should be saved for a third date ‘when you know each other more and can be more playful’. 

He adds: ‘A first date is about the basics and you need a calming, moderate activity.

‘I also recommend avoiding double dates for a first date.

‘Double dates can be fantastic later down the line but on the first date it can be hard to get to know someone when there are four people in the conversation and makes it a bit too casual.’

CONVERSATION

‘A simple way to keep a conversation flowing is by asking open-ended questions and to avoid asking “yes or no” questions,’ Lucas says.

‘This creates a conversation that can move in many different directions.’

If you are asked a question then ‘answer it’, he assures, adding: ‘When you feel like you have said your part, ask them a question in return that links back to them about what you have just said.’

Sharing another top tip, Lucas suggests ‘falling back on your strengths and passions’ if you feel like there could be an awkward silence.

‘For example, if you love travelling talk about that,’ he continues. ‘Talking about something with passion is contagious and it should inspire them to talk about their interests as well.’

HOW TO END IT 

Almost half of Britons who are actively dating feel more confident and relaxed on a date if they’ve set a deadline and known when and how they’ll make their exit, according to research commissioned by Uber. 

Almost three-quarters of daters (73 per cent) worry about the awkward goodbye at the end of a date and three in five (61 per cent) wish they had a reason to leave, the findings show.

With this in mind, Lucas recommends pre-booking a ride home before your date as ‘a perfect way to end a date without feeling awkward’.

He says: ‘Let’s say you have booked a ride home for 9pm, then once the time comes you can leave the date in a way that doesn’t feel awkward, because you have a real reason to leave, and don’t need an excuse.’

The relationship expert says having your taxi home pre-arranged with a service like Uber Reserve not only ensures you get home safely but can also make you ‘feel more confident about your date because you will feel in control and not have to worry about what time you’re leaving’.

The service, which can be ordered via the Uber app, provides scheduled rides up to 90 days in advance with added benefits such as upfront driver assignment, early arrival, a longer 15-minute wait time, and an on-time pickup guarantee.

HOW TO END IT EARLY

If you feel your date is not going well, ‘the number one rule is to leave with good manners’, Lucas says.

‘Sometimes people just don’t have a connection and that’s okay,’ he adds. ‘However, if someone is rude to you, it doesn’t mean you need to stoop down to their level.

‘Keep it polite and classy and know that you’ve done your part.’

Lucas suggests saying you have lots of work to do when giving your reasons for leaving a date early.

‘Not many people will complain about this, because they will have also had moments when they’ve been overwhelmed with work themselves,’ he says.

‘Plus, it’s polite because you aren’t saying anything negative to or about them.’

Another way of drawing things to a close is by saying you have a lift home ‘that you have pre-arranged because you have a busy schedule’, the expert says, adding: ‘Again, your date should be understanding of this, and you won’t come across as rude but just a busy person instead.’

By Ted Thornhill, Mailonline Travel Editor

Updated: 09:07 EDT, 6 September 2023

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By Ted Thornhill, Mailonline Travel Editor

Published: 04:08 EDT, 20 August 2023 | Updated: 05:24 EDT, 20 August 2023

By Ted Thornhill, Mailonline Travel Editor

Published: 10:24 EDT, 16 August 2023 | Updated: 11:49 EDT, 16 August 2023

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By Elena Salvoni

Published: 07:46 EDT, 9 August 2023 | Updated: 08:22 EDT, 9 August 2023

Michigan‘s House of Representatives has passed a hate speech bill, known as HB 4474, which criminalizes causing someone to feel threatened by words, including the misusing of their pronouns, with the possibility of a hefty fine or even jail time.

The bill introduces hate crime penalties for causing someone to ‘feel terrorized, frightened, or threatened,’ with ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity or expression’ included as protected classes. 

Offenders could face up to five years in prison for such a felony offense or a $10,000 fine.

It is part of a continues effort by Democrats in the state to advance a pro-LGBTQ+ agenda in their first months in power. 

The proposed legislation aims to replace the existing Ethnic Intimidation Act and extends protection against intimidation.

Critics argue that the bill poses a threat to First Amendment rights and lacks clarity in defining ‘harassment’, leaving it open to subjective interpretation. 

The bill reads as follows: ‘Intimidate’ means a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual that would cause a reasonable individual to feel terrorized, frightened, or threatened, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, or threatened.’

If passed, penalties would be based on how the supposed victim and court ‘feel’ about a particular matter. 

What constitutes as being deemed ‘intimidation and harassment’ would be up to the interpretation of the listener and a local prosecutor.

Critics argue that the legislation could infringe on free speech rights and undermine the principles of due process. 

Michigan Democrats have made it a priority to further protect LGBTQ+ people since they took control of all levels of state government this year.

In March, lawmakers codified LGBTQ+ protections into the state’s civil rights law, permanently outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in the state. 

This new hate speech bill passed in the Democrat-controlled House 59-50 and will now move to the Michigan State Senate (also Democrat controlled) for further consideration.

If approved, it would expected to be signed into law by the Democratic state Governor Gretchen Whitmer.     

Distinguished Professor Emeritus William Wagner, an expert in constitutional law and former federal judge warns that the legislation could be used to silence conservative viewpoints and would oppose the due process required by the Constitution. 

‘Make no mistake about it. Those advocating for this legislation will wield these policies as a weapon capable of destroying conservative expression or viewpoints grounded in the sacred,’ Wagner told The Daily Wire. 

‘One merely needs to look at the scores of cases brought against schools, churches, businesses, and individuals around our country. Proponents use these laws to silence and financially cripple those who dare to adhere to a different viewpoint and oppose their agenda.’ 

Meanwhile, Republican Representative Angela Rigas shared her concerns about the bill targeting conservatives who speak against radical gender ideology. 

‘The state of Michigan is now explicitly allowing the gender delusion issue to be used as a ‘protected class.’ This opens up numerous issues when it comes to the courts and the continued weaponization of the system against conservatives,’ Rigas said.

‘We saw similar concerns when they wanted to pass blocks on ‘conversion’ therapy. It seems Dems want to be in the business of telling people how to think. We are determined to keep choice and opinion a free choice despite those efforts.’ 

Rigas suggested that conservatives would have to rely on the courts to challenge the legislation such is the lack of Republican influence in Michigan’s branches of power. 

‘While my colleagues are introducing great bills to counter the infringements to our freedoms, there is no current way to fix these issues without higher courts becoming involved,’ she explained. 

Earlier this week Michigan lawmakers gave final approval to legislation banning so-called conversion therapy for minors.

The legislation would prohibit mental health professionals from engaging youths in the scientifically discredited practice of trying to convert people who are LGBTQ+ to heterosexuality and traditional gender expectations.

The Michigan Senate approved the ban on a 21-15 vote – with one Republican siding with Democrats – late Tuesday after the state House previously approved the legislation. 

It now awaits final approval by Gov. Whitmer, who has previously called the therapy a ‘dangerous practice.’

Think you know how to poo? Think again.

For our modern toilet-habits could be preventing us from properly emptying our bowels, one top medic has revealed.

According to Dorset-based NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan, sitting on the loo can cause your colon to kink, leaving you straining. 

Instead, leaning forwards and squatting, creates ‘a smoother exit’.

Dropping the bombshell on TikTok, in a video watched almost 150,000 times, he advised: ‘Focus on the angles, particularly the angle between your abdomen and your thighs. Make this as small as possible.’

He added: ‘You can reduce this thigh torso angle by leaning forwards when you unleash the brown kraken.

‘Combine this with raising your heels so you’re leaning on the balls of your feet. 

‘This puts you into slight hip flexion and gets your knees slightly above your hips.’

Alternatively, to achieve the slight elevation, feet could be rested on a rolled up towel, he suggested. 

‘This combo move unlocks an important skill,’ he added, sharing animations demonstrating the technique. 

‘The puborectalis — the muscle that wraps around the rectum — is now relaxed, causing the rectum to straighten, and giving you a smoother exit,’ he said. 

Research has also suggested that squatting is a superior technique in help empty the bowels. 

According to a 2012 study published in the journal, Digestive Diseases and Sciences, those who squatted on a 12-inch toilet took an average of 51 seconds to release their bowels.

Meanwhile, those who sat recorded an average time of 130 seconds. 

In 2019, researchers from The Ohio State University in the US also discovered that using a bathroom stool could help. 

Analysing more than 1,000 bowel movements, the researchers found 90 per cent of people who used defecation postural modification devices — known as Squatty Potty’s — strained less, with 71 per cent reporting faster bowel movements. 

Fewer users also reported feeling like they still had to go after using the bathroom.

Normal bowel habits vary from person to person, the NHS advises. 

But you should not pass less than three stools per week or more than three per day, it adds. 

Stools should also ‘be soft and easy to pass’, the health service adds. 

It comes as the biggest ever study into Britain’s bowel habits revealed in April that one in 400 Brits poo less than once a week.

Breaking down the UK’s toilet habits, it found 13 per cent of people suffer so much with their bowel and gut health that it affects their day-to-day life.

Another stark figure showed almost a quarter of women are constipated (23 per cent), compared to just 13 per cent of men.

Making the perfect quiche has become a hot topic since it was crowned the official dish of the King’s coronation.

There are some common mistakes to avoid when it comes to baking the dish, according to MasterChef 2021 finalist Mike Tomkins, who offers private dining and events services via The NoteCook.

Most quiche recipes involve blind baking a pastry and whipping up a delicious filling that is mixed with beaten eggs and placed into the oven to bake. 

Here Mike reveals his top tips for the perfect version, including how to nail heavenly flaky pastry, faultless seasoning and more…

Chopping

Mike says: ‘Make sure you chop the ingredients evenly. Think about the texture of the quiche when people are eating it. Every bite should taste the same.’

Ingredients

Mike says: ‘Use quality ingredients – don’t skimp on the cheese. This makes a huge difference.’

Using quality eggs is also key, according to the chef.

‘This is so important for a quiche and will make a real difference in your end result,’ he adds.

‘Typically, dark golden egg yolks are a good indicator that the chickens have eaten a nutrient-rich diet and will leave you with a vibrant-looking quiche.’

Season well

Mike says: ‘We’ve all had a slightly bland quiche before, and there’s nothing worse.

‘To avoid this classic trap, take a little of your egg mixture and fry it off in a pan until cooked through.

‘Taste this for seasoning and this will give you a good indicator to show if you’ve nailed that seasoning or it needs another pinch of salt.’ 

Time to chill 

Mike says: ‘Chill the dough before blind baking. This ensures a great evenly cooked crust.’

Blind bake your crust

Mike says: ‘We all know that the crust is one of everyone’s favourite parts when it comes to a quiche.

‘So to make sure you nail this all-important element, blind bake your crust in the tin whilst weighing it down for an even finish for a few minutes.

‘This will ensure you have a perfectly even and flaky finish.’

Brush up

Mike says: ‘After blind baking, brush with egg yolk and bake for another couple of minutes.

‘This creates a waterproof layer that will prevent the dreaded soggy bottom.’

Think about fillings

Mike says: ‘If you’ve got fillings that hold a lot of moisture, think about cooking them off first before combining with your quiche mix.

‘For example, mushrooms hold a lot of moisture, which is released through cooking, so it’s best to cook these off first. This is also a great chance to pack even more flavour in.’

Cook to temperature, not time

Mike says: ‘Regularly probe your quiche with an instant-read thermometer as you’re nearing the end of your cook – I use a Thermapen.

‘You want the centre of the quiche to read 68C before removing from the oven – importantly, allow your quiche to rest for around 45 minutes.

‘During this time, the quiche will continue cooking and firm up, leaving you with the perfect texture.’

Mike also recommends playing with classic combinations when cooking up ideas for a quiche recipe.

He says: ‘If there’s a classic dish you love, the chances are these flavours will work amazingly well in a quiche.

‘One of my favourites is stilton, mushroom, and red pepper – the perfect combo!’

Texture 

Mike tells MailOnline there are two things to avoid if you want to get ‘the best possible texture’.

He says: ‘There are two really common mistakes people make when cooking a quiche.

‘You need to make sure to avoid these so that you are left with the best possible texture.

‘Don’t bake it on the top rack of the oven. You want to bake on the bottom rack of the oven to ensure that the bottom of the quiche cooks through properly.’

The second common mistake is not allowing enough time for the quiche to cool, he explains.

‘I know you will be desperate to dive in, but you need to let the quiche cool down because it will carry on cooking. Once cool you will be left, as mentioned, with the perfect texture,’ he adds.

Pasta is one of the ultimate comfort foods – and nothing beats the fresh stuff. It’s pre-pasta-rously tasty.

And while you can enjoy it at a good Italian restaurant, here chef Luke Holder – who runs eatery Hartnett Holder & Co at Lime Wood hotel in the New Forest with Michelin-starred Angela Hartnett – reveals how to make pasta at home good enough to serve to paying guests.

He also divulges advice on making great off-the-shelf pasta dishes, including top tips for seasoning, sauces and which supermarkets to shop at for the best ingredients.

When it comes to making fresh pasta – usually a mixture of eggs and flour – Luke says that how many eggs you use depends on how decadent you are feeling.

He tells MailOnline Travel: ‘Depending on how decadent you are feeling determines the amount of egg and yolks you should use. We use a rough guide of nine egg yolks to 200g of pasta flour as a guide.

‘We use a very northern Italian style fresh pasta – the further south you go, the fewer eggs are used in pasta, with only durum wheat flour and water used in Southern Italy – which is very rich in texture and leaves you with a much more malleable pasta if you want to make a filled pasta like a ravioli or agnolotti.

‘Knowing what you want to do before you start is important, as some dishes lend themselves to being better made with dried non-egg-based pasta, such as spaghetti vongole.

‘When making fresh pasta, one key tip is to ensure that once you bring the dough together, let it rest for 45 minutes to allow it to relax, otherwise as you put it through the machine it will tend to spring back, tightening the dough.

‘If you are making a filled pasta with fresh egg-yolk-based dough, you shouldn’t need to add any water or egg wash to seal the pasta. It should be moist and rich enough to come together naturally.’

And stand by with the flour as you put the pasta through the machine.

Luke says: ‘If the dough is sticky, just give it a light dusting of flour every time before you put it through the machine. The most common mistake when making fresh pasta is allowing it to stick to the rolling blades of the machine. Dust lightly but often and make sure your pasta machine is well attached to the work surface because if it isn’t, then rolling the pasta becomes practically impossible.’

And what are the do’s and don’ts for off-the-shelf pasta cooking?

Luke says: ‘There is a lot of folk law around ensuring dried pasta doesn’t stick together.

‘I often hear the advice of adding olive oil to the water, or only season the pasta after cooking. All of that is nonsense to me.

‘The key is to make sure your pasta water is well seasoned – tasting like seawater. Seasoning is a state of being and not an action!

‘Ensure you are cooking your pasta in enough water – the larger the volume of water, the better. Think three to one, water to pasta.

‘Once you add the dried pasta to rapidly boiling water keep it moving – stirring until the water comes back to the boil. This will prevent the pasta from sticking.

‘Always remember that no matter what sauce you are going to serve with your pasta, reserving some of the pasta boiling water will always make a fantastic addition.’

And so what about the all-important sauce?

Luke says: ‘Adding tomato puree is one common mistake. Don’t – it just makes the sauce thick and heavy.

‘Do add a touch of quality red wine vinegar – and if at all possible add great quality tinned tomato, specifically San Marzano tomatoes DOP, as they are grown on volcanic soil and have an amazing flavour. Personally, I always add chilli flakes in with the onions, garlic and olive oil before adding the vinegar.’

Is there anything Luke does in his professional kitchen that an amateur doesn’t?

He says: ‘Reserve your parmesan rinds and add them to the pasta boiling water or make a parmesan stock by boiling the rinds in water for three hours and use that to add to your sauces or to cook the pasta in.

‘To finish, we add a touch of garlic oil – fresh garlic grated into olive oil – right at the end, which lifts the whole dish.’

And what are the go-to brands home cooks should be buying at the supermarket for pasta dishes?

Luke says: ‘For me, it’s always worth spending money on good quality aged parmesan, great quality tinned tomato and wonderful anchovies – all of these three items will transform your pasta dishes and take a lot of the hard work out of it.

‘They will also sit in your store cupboard until you need them.

‘Avoid cheap-quality anchovies. These are the reason why people don’t like anchovies! And never substitute parmesan for other cheeses. There is nothing to replace Parmigiano Reggiano!

‘Best-value-for-money parmesan on the market today, without doubt, is Lidl’s three-year aged. At £14.50 per kg it’s a real bargain. Aged parmesan is such a treat and will add the undeniable joy of umami paired with Ortiz anchovies and with those Rega San Marzano DOP tinned tomatoes, it would be hard to make something not taste absolutely delicious.’

Hartnett Holder & Co at Lime Wood celebrates its 10th anniversary this year. In celebration of the landmark, Angela and Luke will host a guest chef series with some of HH&Co’s oldest chef friends throughout the year. The first dinner of the series will take place on May 16 with acclaimed chefs Nathan Outlaw, Valentine Warner and Neil Borthwick. The following dinner will take place on September 13 with headline chefs of a similar calibre yet to be announced alongside Angela and Luke.

HH&Co will also be launching a partnership with DishPatch to create a limited edition HH&Co menu box, which will be available on an exclusive basis nationwide this summer.

I’m a chef… and you’ve been making mash all wrong! How to create the ultimate restaurant-level creamy mashed potato

By Ted Thornhill, Mailonline Travel Editor

Published: 06:30 EDT, 9 May 2023 | Updated: 06:30 EDT, 9 May 2023