Q My sister and I have had a week in a time-share in Spain for many years. We have children of similar ages and our two families have always gone there together every October half-term. 

However, this year, our eldest daughter, who is 14, says she doesn’t want to go. 

The problem is my sister’s son – her cousin – who is a year older. They just don’t get on any more. Our daughter is still quite young emotionally and hasn’t really discovered boys, parties or alcohol. 

She is still happy to do things with us and gets on well with her sister and her younger female cousin. 

My nephew is the opposite. Occasionally, he can be quite good (amusing) company but often he’s a typical monosyllabic teenager – moody, scruffy, swearing, rude to my sister and trying to be cool. 

I know she has problems with him drinking and smoking. When we went to stay with them a few months ago, my eldest daughter was very upset because they went to a party that got out of control and at which her cousin pressured her to try vodka. I had to collect her in tears. 

I think we should back out of the holiday this year, but my sister is upset and says her daughter will be very disappointed if her cousins don’t come. She believes the two eldest children can just ignore each other. I think she also wants my moral support.

What should we do?

A This is so difficult as you are torn in different directions. You are clearly close to your sister so it must feel sad for you both that your eldest children have, at the moment, turned out to be chalk and cheese. 

I understand your daughter not wanting to go. She is at a fragile and sensitive age and the prospect of being on holiday with her elder cousin is daunting. 

You could decide to miss it this time and see if things have changed next year. However, there is also a danger that if she doesn’t go, she might feel less capable of dealing with such problems in future. 

So, with your husband, ask if she feels she could manage to spend time with her sister and other cousin – if all the adults ensure her elder cousin cannot bully her. Make sure you really listen to her needs, though. 

I am not sure it will be an easy holiday for anyone as your nephew sounds difficult. I’m sure your sister finds him a struggle and I wonder if her husband feels the same and whether he is supportive. 

Sadly, there is a perception that smoking and drinking are ‘just what kids do’ at 15. However, both activities are illegal until 18 as they present serious health risks. 

Public health charity Ash warns that the younger someone smokes the greater the risk of dependency and mortality. 

You and your sister could contact youngminds.org.uk or family-action.org.uk for tips on how to help each child and each other.

Is my work success driving my husband away? 

Q I have been married for 12 years to a man I consider my soulmate. We’re both in our mid-40s and have never had children. Our relationship has always been loving and strong and our sex life fantastic. 

Recently, however, things have tailed off, with my husband saying he’s too tired to make love. I know couples go through less ‘physical’ phases, but this is not who we are. 

The last time we tried he was unable to go through with it. I am devastated. It all changed shortly after I was promoted to a senior position at work – with me now earning more than my husband. 

I did ask him if this was what was getting in the way of sex and he sniped back that not everything was about my wonderful career. 

I know we should have counselling, but I am shocked to think that is where we’ve got to.

A As old-fashioned as it may seem, unfortunately some men do still feel very threatened, even emasculated, by their wife earning more than them. 

It’s so unnecessary – and it’s sad for you that he cannot be supportive and celebrate your success. But yes, you do need to bite the bullet and suggest counselling because there is clearly more to this. 

Perhaps he is miserable at work and desperately wants to leave but fears this would reduce him further. He might feel that you will stop loving him if he is not as successful as you. He may have other worries. Either way, he is unhappy. 

Gently explain how much you love him (always start with this) and how happy you have always been with him. Say you are concerned that he is unhappy and you are anxious, wondering if he still loves you.

Try relate.org.uk or cosrt.org.uk.

• If you have a problem, write to Caroline West-Meads at YOU, 9 Derry Street, London W8 5HY, or email c.west-meads@mailonsunday.co.uk. You can follow Caroline on Twitter @Ask_Caroline_ 

A teen was left with a blister as big as an orange and struggling to dress himself after a moment of contact with ‘Britain’s most dangerous plant’.

Ross McPherson reckons he brushed past the dreaded giant hogweed while cycling near his home in Dunbar, East Lothian, Scotland.

A few hours later, he noticed his hand turning red – and soon after it erupted in painful blisters that needed hospital treatment.

The blisters then had to be removed without anaesthesia, subjecting the 16-year-old to so much pain that he fainted.

‘I was riding my bike and I must’ve just brushed past it,’ said Ross. ‘It would’ve been seconds.

‘When I first noticed it, my hand was just red and slightly painful. I didn’t know what it was. It felt warm.’

Soon after, the blisters emerged.

He said: ‘The skin was swollen around my hand, it felt warm and it hurt.

‘It impacted daily life quite a lot: I couldn’t put clothes over it and, because it was over my joints, I couldn’t really use my left hand.

‘It felt like having a giant balloon on my hand that was susceptible to pain at any point in the day.’

He added: ‘I could barely get my coat off, I could barely put jumpers or t-shirts on; it was unusable basically – I couldn’t do anything with it.

‘I had smaller blisters over the knuckles, so moving my fingers was also excruciating, so I didn’t really do that either.’

Ross said his hand was initially assessed by his GP, who diagnosed contact dermatitis.

But he would ultimately be treated at Edinburgh’s Royal Infirmary after visiting its A&E department.

The teenager had a mixture of second and third-degree burns.

He described the pain as ‘absolute hell’.

He said: ‘The person we saw thought originally that we would have to go to the burns unit in Livingston to get it done.

‘But they told her just to do it in the Royal Infirmary, so she cut like a line in it and drained the fluid.

‘Some of it was jelly so she opened it up and pulled the jelly out, and she cut around all the dead and blistered skin, and pulled it off – there was quite a lot of it.

‘You’re not on anaesthetic because they need to make sure the nerves aren’t damaged and that you’re feeling it – because in the more serious cases that can happen.

‘It was absolute hell. It hurt so much. I fainted during it, it was that bad.’

When it was burst, the biggest blister was the size of an orange.

Ross said: ‘The largest one was seven centimetres by eight centimetres. It was like an orange.

‘It was heavy; I could feel the weight of it on my hand continuously.’

The giant hogweed’s sap stops the skin protecting itself against the sun’s rays, leading to gruesome burns when exposed to natural light.

Part of what makes it so dangerous is that it usually causes no immediate pain, so its victims can continue to burn in the sunshine heedless of any problem.

And it only takes a moment of exposure for the sap to do its work.

Now Ross’ hand is healing up, but he’ll be living with the after-effects for some time.

He said: ‘It’ll remain sensitive for years and years, but they can’t give an exact number.

‘They said put factor 50 sunscreen on it for the next couple of years, or a glove in the winter if possible.’

The giant hogweed is native to the Caucasus, but was introduced to Britain as an ornamental plant in 1817, and its spread has now got out of control.

Mike Duddy, of the Mersey Basin Rivers Trust, said in 2015 that the giant hogweed was ‘without a shadow of a doubt, the most dangerous plant in Britain’.

If exposed to the plant, you should thoroughly wash the area that made contact and keep it out of sunlight for a few days, the Woodland Trust advises.

Ross was unambiguous that it was giant hogweed he encountered, but a spokesperson for East Lothian Council said they’d been unable to locate it.

They said: ‘Suspected giant hogweed was reported to us in Dunbar and on investigation of the location provided it was concluded it was in fact common hogweed.

‘Every report of giant hogweed is fully investigated and actioned if it is on council land.

‘Members of the public are requested and encouraged to report giant hogweed to us via the website or calling the council contact centre so that these plants can be dealt with as they appear.’

A spokesperson for NHS Lothian said they could not comment on a patient’s care without their consent.

More than a decade ago, British archeologists were left stunned when they found the remains of a 16-year-old Anglo-Saxon girl in Cambridgeshire. 

The girl was laid to rest in the village of Trumpington between around AD 650 and AD 680 while wearing a stunning gold and garnet cross. 

Now, scientists have analysed the girl’s skull to create a life-like reconstruction of what she looked like prior to her untimely death. 

The new reconstruction shows she had a fair face with pale skin, a petite nose, strong cheek bones and one eye slightly lower than the other. 

Little is known for certain about the ‘Trumpington girl’, but experts think she migrated from Germany to England as a young girl as a part of an early Christian group to spread the teachings of Jesus. 

Previous analysis indicated that the Trumpington girl had suffered from illness but her cause of death remains unknown. 

But her ornate cross – which combines gold and beautiful inset gemstones known as garnets – suggests she was a member of the aristocracy, if not royalty. 

Along with the cross, the facial reconstruction will go on display at a new exhibition at the University of Cambridge’s Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology that opens on Wednesday (June 21). 

The facial reconstruction was created by forensic artist Hew Morrison, based on measurements of her skull and tissue depth data for Caucasian females. 

The lack of DNA analysis means Morrison could not be sure of her precise eye and hair colour, but it’s hoped further DNA studies will reveal this for certain. 

‘It was interesting to see her face developing,’ said Morrison, who also recently reconstructed the face of a pregnant ancient Egyptian mummy. 

‘Her left eye was slightly lower, about half a centimetre, than her right eye; this would have been quite noticeable in life.’

Isotopic analysis of her bones and teeth reveals the girl moved to England from somewhere near the Alps some time after she turned seven years old. 

Once the girl had arrived in England, the proportion of protein in her diet decreased by a small but significant amount – although there is nothing yet to suggest this had anything to do with her death. 

‘She was quite a young girl when she moved, likely from part of southern Germany, close to the Alps, to a very flat part of England,’ said Dr Sam Leggett, previously part of the Cambridge team and now at the University of Edinburgh. 

‘She was probably quite unwell and she travelled a long way to somewhere completely unfamiliar – even the food was different. It must have been scary.’

The Trumpington burial site made the headlines in 2012, following a series of excavations by Cambridge’s Archaeological Unit in Trumpington Meadows. 

It became one of 15 known Christian ‘bed burials’ – where the deceased person has been laid to rest on a bed – in the UK, although this number has since risen to 18. 

Based on clues from the small number of bed burials discovered, the custom was likely reserved for high-status women during the early Anglo-Saxon period (7th century). 

The presence of the cross in the grave still raises the question of whether the young woman had an official role in the fledgling Christian church. 

It commonly accepted that Christianity in Britain originated when Saint Augustine came in AD 597 on a Pope-sanctioned mission to convert the pagans. 

‘It seems that she was part of an elite group of women who probably travelled from mainland Europe, most likely Germany, in the 7th century, but they remain a bit of a mystery,’ said Dr Leggett.

‘Were they political brides or perhaps brides of Christ? The fact that her diet changed once she arrived in England suggests that her lifestyle may have changed quite significantly.’

Upcoming DNA analysis may also reveal traces of an infection or a genetic disease that could pinpoint her cause of death, Dr Leggett said. 

Artefacts from the woman’s burial including her famous cross will be shown at the new exhibition at Cambridge’s Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology (MAA).

Also displayed will be delicate gold and garnet pins connected by a gold chain, which were found near the teenager’s neck and likely secured a long veil to an outer garment of fine linen, and the burial bed’s decorative headboard. 

The free exhibition, ‘Beneath Our Feet: Archaeology of the Cambridge Region’, will run from June 21 until April 14 next year. 

When you think of dangerous sports, you may picture skydiving, mountain climbing, or off-road racing. 

Even football has made headlines in recent years for causing injuries such as traumatic brain injuries.   

However, research suggests that horseback riding could be among America’s most dangerous sports, resulting in at least 100 deaths per year – and by some estimates, as many as 700.  

The danger was highlighted this month when a teen horseback rider from Florida died due to her horse tripping and falling on top of her. Hannah Serfass, 15, was competing in an event in Venice, Florida, when the accident occurred. The 12-year-old horse, named Quaxx, tripped and suffered a rotational fall. 

Following Ms Serfass’ death, the United States Equestrian Federation (USEF) said it ‘takes every accident very seriously and will be reviewing the accident thoroughly to learn what we can do to minimize risk and increase safety in equestrian sport.’ 

A 2021 study from researchers at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley (UTRGV) concluded that riding a horse was the most dangerous sport in America. 

‘The risk of hospital admission from equestrian injuries is higher than football, motor vehicle racing, and skiing,’ wrote the authors of the paper, which was published in the journal Trauma Surgery & Acute Care Open. 

A 2014 report from the US Consumer and Product Safety Commission found that the rate of hospitalization for horse riding injuries was 16.6 percent higher than the next activity- rising all-terrain vehicles (ATVs) or motorcycles. 

Football, long considered highly dangerous due to the high percentage of professional players found to have had traumatic brain injuries, doesn’t even measure up.

A 2021 survey by the National Center for Catastrophic Sport Injury Research found an average of 20 deaths among football players of all levels that season. Only four were directly related to injuries sustained on the field. 

Additionally, a study from the National Athletic Trainers’ Association looked at deaths among middle school basketball players between 2007 and 2015. The researchers found 11 deaths in 2015 and an average of five per year overall. 

Horseback riding has also been shown to cause severe damage. 

Last December, eight-year-old Stefan Keryan from Denver was seriously injured after he fell off his horse and was dragged across pavement for two miles. He suffered third-degree burns, a skull fracture, and a bruised brain.

‘I heard yelling and I looked over and as [the horse was] running past, I see that the saddle is flipped and that my son is being dragged by his foot,’ Stefan’s mother. Heidi Keryan, told Good Morning America. ‘My older daughter and I started yelling and screaming and running as fast as we could to get to him but that horse was really fast.’

Though it’s believed the boy survived his injuries, he needed intense medical intervention. 

The UTRGV researchers looked at data from the National Trauma Data Bank, the country’s largest database of trauma-related medical information. They found that between 2007 to 2016, 45,671 patients visited a trauma center with injuries from horseback riding.

About 88 percent of these patients in the database who went to the hospital had injuries serious enough for them to be admitted. 

Chest injuries were most commonly reported, followed by injuries to the head, arms, and legs. 

The researchers also said that nearly 75 percent of deaths were from head or neck injuries. 

Injuries are prevalent in the equestrian community. For example, a 2021 study from Ohio State University found that 81 percent of horse riders had experience an injury at some point in their riding career. About 21 percent of those participants had suffered a serious injury. 

The researchers concluded that of all sports in the US, equestrian sports are the most common cause of sports-related traumatic brain injury in adults.

Additionally, the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) estimates that more than 48,000 people were treated in the hospital emergency room for horseback riding injuries in 2017.

Some of the most common injuries sustained in horseback riding are of the head, ankles, chest, and wrists.

A 2019 study in the journal Sports Medicine found that 70 percent of reported equestrian falls caused a head injury. The researchers also noted that wearing a properly fitting helmet could lower the chance of serious injuries, such as skull fractures. 

A 2018 study from the journal Cogent Food & Agriculture found that the number one cause of death is from riders falling off their horses. This accounted for 83.4 percent of incidents. 

The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons recommends that all riders wear appropriate helmets and properly fitting boots to reduce the risk of injury. The organization also cautions riders to try rolling to the side if they feel themselves falling off the horse.