TRAVEL 

Abroad in japan

by Chris Broad (Bantam £16.99, 320pp)

‘I like Queen Elizabeth,’ a Japanese man tells Chris Broad when he discovers he is from Britain. ‘So good England grandma.’

It’s the perfect summary of Broad’s experiences in Japan: everyone is friendly and engaging, but all the time there’s something not quite right.

Broad went there to teach English to Japanese students, and a decade later is established as a YouTube star with his Abroad In Japan videos explaining the country’s customs and curiosities.

Some of his lessons were learned the hard way, such as the time a friend of a friend told him he should try the food known as shiokara. 

Ordering it in a restaurant, he discovered that it’s the fermented entrails of a squid. The chef literally laughed at him.

Some of the smallest things provide the biggest shocks. Grass, for example — there isn’t any. Even local parks are mostly gravel and sand.

Then there’s the ability of Japanese people to fall asleep instantly. ‘Watch a Japanese commuter . . . They’ll sit down, sleep, then, as if there’s an alarm clock built into their brain, they’ll snap awake and stumble off at the right stop.’

Gradually, Broad gets used to social customs such as not wearing your shoes inside other people’s homes or, indeed, in some public spaces.

‘One of the few times I’ve truly seen a Japanese person snap was when a friend wandered into a public bathhouse without removing his shoes, only for the elderly woman at the reception desk to spring up out of her chair and forcibly push him back out of the door.’

And don’t even think about leaving a tip. ‘It’s considered almost rude . . . The Japanese believe that service staff should always be giving their absolute best . . . and if you tried to leave money, you’d likely find yourself chased down the street by a waiter brandishing your change.’

His day job in the classroom — assisting Japanese teachers of English — provides some of the most bizarre moments. 

One gets him to hide under the desk, then asks the class: ‘Where is Chris sensei?’ They all shout: ‘UNDER the desk!’

Then he has to squeeze inside the desk’s tiny cupboard. ‘Where is Chris sensei?’ ‘INSIDE the desk!’ ‘He opened the doors and I rolled out on to the floor, wondering how on earth £30,000 of university fees had led to this.’

One teacher is a huge Beatles fan, and Broad uses this to create mischief. He prints out the lyrics to I Am The Walrus, removes key words and gets the class to fill in the blanks. 

‘ “Chris sensei, what is the egg man? Who are the egg men?” “He is the walrus,” I insisted. “I don’t understand.” She stomped her feet in frustration.’

Another song helps Broad to discipline a student who won’t stop talking. He writes ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ on the board, summons the boy to the front and asks him to pronounce it. ‘British-style punishment at its finest’.

In the end, you get the feeling that Japan will always remain a mystery to Westerners, at least partially, and probably because it wants to.

Broad writes of the country’s ‘tendency to hold the rest of the world at arm’s length’, noting that only 23 per cent of its people possess a passport. But is that necessarily a bad thing? It would be boring if we were all the same.  

Maybe we can learn from some of the differences. I like the concept of wabi-sabi, defined by Broad as ‘embracing imperfections and appreciating the beauty in the incomplete’.

There’s also chinmoku, the idea that silence contains the secrets of existence.

Japanese conversations often include periods where neither person speaks. Awkward at first, but there are plenty of people over here I’d like to see give it a go.

And, of course, just as we struggle to understand the Japanese, so they struggle to understand us.

One man tells Broad that he tried learning English simply by reading a dictionary. ‘It was very difficult,’ he reports. ‘I think I made it all the way to the letter G.’

Pixie Lott has shared a snippet of a new song about pregnancy alongside an array of adorable behind-the-scenes snaps documenting her journey.

The singer, 32 – who is currently expecting her first child with husband Oliver Cheshire, 35 – took to Instagram on Wednesday to give followers an insight into her pregnancy so far.

She revealed that she had also penned an emotional song about expecting a child as she gave fans a brief teaser of the lyrics and soundtrack. 

Introducing the song and clips, Pixie shared: ‘So I wrote this song a couple of weeks ago with my friend Toby. 

‘And I wanted to show you because it makes the most sense now, lyrically, before the bubba comes because it’s all about expecting and preparing. I wanted to know what you guys think.’

After introducing the track, Pixie included a montage of clips, including a sweet video of her and Oliver becoming emotional as they looked at their ultrasound.

Another clip showed Pixie and and Oliver finding out their baby’s gender as they reacted to each other and share a sweet kiss.

Pixie then shared a look at the adorable outfits she already has picked out for her unborn child.

As the videos played, the emotional lyrics of Pixie’s song went: ‘I cleared out my room for you and painted all the walls // I took down the posters too, put up a picture of us. 

‘All these seeds you’ve been sewing are growing and so am I // I waited so long for you, guess good things take time.’ 

Last week, Pixie showed off her baby bump in an Barbie-inspired shoot with her husband Oliver for Arcadia magazine on Wednesday.

The singer chatted about her excitement at becoming a mother with the publication and revealed they are keeping the gender a surprise.

Asked what they are most excited for when they become parents, Pixie said: ‘Meeting the baby! We are so excited for that, it’s mad to think that.

‘We’ve been together such a long time, it’s going to be a very amazing new chapter to experience together.’

On the gender of their little one, she added: ‘We’re keeping it a surprise. It just ended up that way. I wanted to keep it a surprise for myself because I love surprises, but Ollie was like, no let’s find out. 

‘On the day we found out what we were having, we were jumping around. Well you, [Oliver] were jumping around like Tigger!’

In regards to baby names, Pixie said that they have made lists of options but that they haven’t fully decided on anything yet.

But she did add that there one ‘front-runner’ that ‘keeps coming out’ which things is a sign they should choose it.

Pixie took to her Instagram in June to share the jovial news of her pregnancy with a whole host of sweet snaps of her growing baby bump.

At the time, she told how she was already 31 weeks along as she kept her baby news a secret but is now counting down the days until welcoming her first child. 

Pixie and Oliver finally tied the knot last June at Ely Cathedral after their wedding was cancelled several times due to Covid.

They were forced to cancel their big day multiple times throughout the Covid pandemic after getting engaged on the steps of St Paul’s Cathedral in 2016.

Pixie rose to fame with her hit debut album, Turn It Up, in 2009.

Day by day apprehension is growing over the impact on civilisation of AI – artificial intelligence. But so too is the excitement over its potential.

As the AI phenomenon gathered pace in April, I suggested that it made sense to ensure you had some exposure to the sector, directly or through funds such as Allianz Technology, Polar Technology or Templeton Emerging Markets.

This is still my view. It is reasonable to worry about the consequences of the spread of ChatGPT, Dall-E and other ‘deep-learning’ generative AI systems, that produce images, sound and text, while also wishing to benefit from the boom they will create.

Shares in the mega tech companies in this field have risen sharply.

Investors want to back the big and small businesses that will supply the ‘picks and shovels’, the tools that will enable the tech age gold rush.

For example, C3.ai, a Californian software developer, has risen 237 per cent this year – maybe partly because it trades under the AI ticker symbol.

Nvidia, the Silicon Valley semiconductor giant which makes the chips for ChatGPT, is up by 168 per cent in 2023: its market capitalisation briefly came close to $1trillion (£795billion) last month.

Yet the group is still rated a ‘buy’ by a consensus of analysts, an assessment that highlights the hopes of the returns the AI revolution could yield.

Stephen Yiu, the manager of Blue Whale fund, which holds Nvidia and other AI-related stocks, says: ‘We are at the beginning of the journey. Generative AI is only just turning from a concept in a sci-fi movie into reality.’

Management consultancy McKinsey predicts 70 per cent of companies will be using at least one type of AI by 2030, as bosses exploit these technologies to ‘automate, augment, and accelerate work’.

The ebullient Jensen Huang, Nvidia’s founder and chief executive, is hugely confident, saying: ‘A trillion dollars of installed global data centre infrastructure will transition from general purpose to accelerated computing as companies race to apply generative AI into every product, service and business process.’

The journey will be eventful. Sceptics warn of an AI stock bubble, created by hype: the public-facing version of ChatGPT reached 100m users in two months, causing some investors to have unrealistic expectations about its rapid adoption in education, healthcare and other fields. Meanwhile, anxiety that generative AI could trigger catastrophic job losses is leading to calls for the slowing of its implementation.

This is despite concerns that, if the West takes time to ponder the implications, ‘the bad guys’ could gain an advantage, or so one senior Wall Street figure argues.

Sam Altman, founder of Open AI, the creator of ChatGPT, is among those warning of the existential risks, and Rishi Sunak is to host a global summit that could set rules to regulate AI.

Against this background, optimism about the payback has boosted shares in what Bank of America has dubbed the ‘Magnificent Seven’. They are: Amazon, Apple, Alphabet (owner of Google), Meta (the Facebook and Instagram group), Microsoft, which has a stake in Open AI, Tesla and, of course, Nvidia.

Yiu suggests a broader range of businesses. He says: ‘The tools for AI come from names like ASML, Applied Materials chipmaker and Lam Research, an equipment manufacturer. Intel, Samsung and Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company build chips.

‘Advanced Micro Devices, Nvidia and wireless technology specialist Qualcomm are experts in design and sales.’

You may be held back from committing to this sector by AI angst – the concern that humankind will be rendered redundant.

Jobs will be lost. But productivity will be improved, and individual ingenuity will still be prized.

Yiu says: ‘AI will help you assemble a Powerpoint presentation far more quickly, but you will still be able to add that personal touch.’

AI systems should also help feed the world. James Yardley, of Fund Calibre, says: ‘Imagine being able to water and feed plants individually in a field – changing their mix depending on the soil and type of plant from one row to another.

‘That’s already happening, with John Deere’s See & Spray AI.’

You may conclude that you are already on the AI journey if you have money in funds with sizeable stakes in Nvidia, like T Rowe Price Global Technology, Martin Currie US Unconstrained or Martin Currie Global Unconstrained.

Microsoft, which is incorporating ChatGPT into its Bing search and Microsoft 365 products, is the largest holding at the F&C trust, where I have some cash.

If you’re looking for more opportunities, Yardley points to Sanlam Global Artificial Intelligence, saying: ‘What this fund’s manager, Chris Ford, doesn’t know about AI really isn’t worth knowing.’

What no one can know is the scale of change AI will bring. Take only bets that you can afford on this journey into the unknown.

If you weren’t depressed before you took the train between Birmingham and Wolverhampton, you will be by the time you get off.

The gloom descends the moment my train slides out of the platform and into Monument Road tunnel at Birmingham New Street station, for I have commenced what is possibly the most depressing rail journey in Britain – a trip to Wolverhampton. The long tunnel was the scene of a decapitation of a trespasser a few years ago.

Bursting out into the sunlight, the train passes through Ladywood – described in 2009 as the poorest constituency in the country by The Campaign to End Child Poverty and once the constituency of Labour firebrand MP Clare Short – famous for her attempts to ban topless models in the tabloids. 

On the right I see run down tower blocks and a housing estate that few would live in by choice – and who can blame them?

Ladywood may have improved slightly since that damming 2009 report, but it’s still a neighbourhood with many social problems. 

As the train progresses, council estates give way to factories – both active and derelict – plus copious amounts of graffiti . 

The canal on the left, obviously having seen better days, doesn’t make a welcoming site and is as far removed from the waterways of Venice (it often being said that Birmingham has more canals than the Italian city) as it’s possible to get. Don’t expect any boater singing ‘Just one cornetto’ here.

Next up are the delights of Soho – a scrapyard piled high with old cars, greeting passengers as they look to their right. Looking to the left are the abutments of the former Harbourne branch line bridge that carried it over the canal. 

Passenger services ceased in 1934, but up until then the railway would run special trains for factory owners and the like, whisking them home to the salubrious suburb to enjoy lunch with their wife. Imagine such a service today!

Unlike Ladywood, Harbourne is still a sought after location for those wishing to live in Birmingham. 

If passengers are really fortunate, they may just be able to catch a glimpse of Winson Green prison, just before arriving at Smethwick Rolfe Street, the first station on the route and a station where one wouldn’t wish to spend any longer than necessary.

Although obviously having being cleared relatively recently, the railway embankments at the bottom of gardens are once again showing signs of rubbish being dumped over the fence. 

Prior to the clean-up, it was not uncommon to see anything from unwanted play things, such as large plastic toys, to household furniture thrown away – leaving the railway with a huge clean-up bill. One council worker at a nearby block of flats told me that someone is employed to walk around the ground at the base of such flats, picking up dirty nappies that people throw off their balconies.

During my journey, I speak with a regular passenger on the route, who says ‘I do wonder what visitors to Birmingham think when they have to pass through this dump before reaching New Street. I mean, it’s a bit of a let down compared to the image that the council portrays of the city.’

Another was more direct , describing it as ‘a complete s**t hole’. A young woman from Dudley, with a pushchair, felt a bit more upbeat, telling me that ‘We ain’t got nothing, but people look out for each other – there’s a real sense of community’.

Things soon get a bit ‘lively’ with the arrival of a pair of revenue protection inspectors, who have the authority to issue penalty fares to ticketless passengers.

The number of passengers without tickets, is astounding. Excuses range from not having enough money on a credit card, to buying a ticket for only part of the journey, because they suddenly changed their mind regarding their destination. 

The inspectors show no mercy, no doubt having heard every excuse going, and dish out £100 penalties – reduced to £50 if paid within 21 days – without a second thought. This includes a family of adults, where no one in the group of four has a ticket.

One piece of Birmingham’s heritage that has not been swept away is the beautifully restored Galton Valley Pumping Station, which can be viewed on the right, shortly after the train departs Rolfe Street – it’s chimney revealing its location. It dates from 1892 and during the summer is open one Saturday a month.

Pushing on, My train is held at a red signal near Sandwell & Dudley station, but at least I have the opportunity to study the remains of a glass works factory, that is nothing more than an empty shell and looks as if it could collapse at any moment. Seagulls circle above, but this is no seaside location.

The station made the headlines for all the wrong reasons when it opened in the 1980s – the driver of the first train forgetting to stop, resulting in all the VIPs being left stranded on the platform.

All the way between Ladywood and Sandwell, the railway has passed through a corridor of factories, council estates, dereliction and warehouses – little that could raise the spirits of passengers – and so it continues for the final ten minutes of the 20 minute journey.

Tipton, once famous as the home of William Perry – AKA prize boxer The Tipton Slasher – flashes by and the train stops at Coseley. Here a most bizarre incident happens. A woman on the opposite platform decides she wants to catch my train, so jumps on the track – just seconds before an Avanti train to Euston roars through the station – and boards my train. The guard sees what happened, but doesn’t say anything. One gets the impression that he’s used to seeing this type of behaviour, and worse, on the route.

Wolverhampton is now but a few minutes away, but the depressing landscape lingers on. More dereliction, more graffiti, more scrap yards and Wolverhampton suburb Heath Town – a place with a terrible reputation – hones into view. The railway is elevated at this point, allowing passengers a grandstand view of something they probably wish they didn’t have to see.

The space between the tracks at Wolverhampton station is home to an abundance of flowers and weeds, one member of platform staff quips ‘We should enter the station for the Chelsea Flower Show’, before telling me that in the days when train lavatories flushed into the track, it was far from uncommon to see tomato plants growing between the rails.

For passengers travelling further north, the pain of having to suffer such desolate views will soon be over, for within minutes of departing Wolverhampton, the view changes to a much greener and pleasant one – allowing passengers to heave a sigh of relief.