I’m a statriotic Minnesotan, but after 12 years, the time has come: I’m going to become a dual citizen.

When I arrived at a bleak office building to take my ‘Life in the UK’ test – a necessary rite of passage before applying for citizenship – I was greeted not with a smile, but by being told to empty my pockets, stand spread-eagled, and await my ritualised once-over with a metal detector wand.

Once they had carefully checked both ears for hidden earpieces (I’m not kidding), I sat down to take the test.

Citizenship tests are a strange phenomenon, not because I object to them in principle, but because they force a country to arbitrarily decide what knowledge is necessary to be formally inducted into the nation.

But what’s most bizarre about them is that they often involve questions that native-born people couldn’t answer – a bit of a red flag.

One of the first questions I was asked: ‘What did Saint Augustine do after helping to spread Christianity to Britain?’ (The answer, which I got right: ‘Become the first Archbishop of Canterbury.’) Another question asked: ‘In Scotland, what’s the name of courts that deal with minor criminal offences?’ In England, these are known as Magistrates’ Courts, which I already knew, but it was only thanks to studying for the test that I got the answer right: ‘Justice of the Peace Courts.’

I have asked several native-born English people this question. So far, nobody has answered correctly.

Halfway through the test, I was reminded of the ongoing official role of the Church of England when I was asked to identify the day on which Jesus died. Kudos to those of you who know it’s Good Friday, though I’m not certain why that is necessary knowledge to be British. (Here’s a question that, for reasons unknown, wasn’t on the ‘Life in the UK’ test: Which two countries automatically give religious leaders seats in parliament? The answer: the UK and Iran).

Then, there was another issue: one of the practice questions for the test was factually wrong. It asked, ‘Which king first unified England?’ The answer they were looking for was Alfred the Great, but there’s a much stronger case to be made for Athelstan, Alfred’s grandson. (I decided it was unwise to bring this up at the test centre).

When I finished the test, a grouchy lady – I’d be grouchy in her shoes too, wanding people down with metal detectors and checking for earpieces in the world’s most lifeless office space – informed me that I had passed the test.

‘Did I get any wrong?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘The computer just tells me that you passed, which means you got at least 18 out of 24 right.’

This was the final ingenious flourish, to never let future citizens know the correct answers to questions about knowledge deemed essential for one’s ability to thrive in Britain.

Now, America’s immigration system is utterly broken, so I’m not in much of a place to critique Britain’s, but the British visa system is deliberately designed to be terrible.

Over 12 years, I’ll have spent roughly £13,000 ($16,500) on visas/visa appointments, which is crazy.

If you change the kind of visa you have, it resets the official clock on your path toward citizenship back to zero – ridiculous. And because of the scarcity of in-person appointments, I’ve done a bleak UK Grand Tour, taking trains to sterile offices in Croydon, Solihull, Sheffield, Maidstone, and Cardiff.

The experience of the ‘Life in the UK’ test is completely at odds with life in the UK.

After living abroad for 12 years, I see America’s strengths and weaknesses more clearly, just as I see Britain’s strengths and weaknesses more clearly as an outsider.

Life here in Britain has its problems – the cost of living crisis and the general decline post-Brexit are real and serious – but here are some tremendous strengths.   

Watch this space for Brian’s take on what’s great about Britain… 

This article was originally published on Brian’s blog site – The Garden of Forking Paths.

Dr Brian Klaas is Associate Professor in Global Politics, University College London. For more from Brian visit brianpklaas.com. His book Corruptible: Who Gets Power And How It Changes Us is out now, available from Amazon.

My husband has suffered with flatulence for some time but it has worsened over the past few months. He doesn’t eat excessive amounts of fruit and veg. Can you suggest any steps we could take to resolve this?

Name and address supplied.

We all have gas in our intestines, produced by our gut microbes breaking down food, and much of it has to be passed in moments of flatulence (passing wind anything up to 20 times day is considered normal).

But you say in your longer letter that the odour is offensive. The main culprit for smelly flatulence is the gas hydrogen sulphide, which smells like rotten eggs.

In fact, we know from research that this particular component of wind is actually good for us.

A study in the journal Nature Microbiology published last month showed that hydrogen sulphide improves the health of the intestinal lining.

It’s previously been found to act as an antioxidant, protecting cells from damage; it also encourages greater resistance to certain infections.

Despite this, it’s worth noting that some foods do contain more sulphur, which is broken down into hydrogen sulphide by the bacteria in the gut — and restricting those foods may, to some extent, help manage gas production.

These include meat, chicken, eggs and vegetables such as cabbage, leeks, broccoli, onions and garlic.

Of course, these are just the sort of foods that help feed the good bacteria in the gut, so you don’t want to cut them out altogether.

I suggest that it’s worth bearing in mind that the embarrassing problem your husband has may actually give him some advantage in respect of his health. Perhaps, knowing this may help change your attitude to it.

I have had a glaucoma test every year for 40 years. I’ve now been told to go every two years, because of Government cutbacks. I was advised if I want to have them yearly, I would have to pay. What do you advise?

Eddie Marsh, Newbury, Berkshire.

Thank you for writing in about what is such an important subject to so many people. Around half a million Britons have glaucoma, which typically leads to a slow decline first in the edges of your vision. Left untreated, this may ultimately result in blindness.

The problem is that, in the early stages, vision loss is so slow as to be almost imperceptible; other characteristic symptoms such as blurred vision may not be apparent until the later stages.

That is why screening — checking everybody with or without symptoms — is so important. There are various types of glaucoma: the most common is known as silent primary open-angle glaucoma. Here, fluid in the eye (the aqueous humour) builds up, causing an increase in the pressure within the eye.

We used to think this pressure caused irreversible damage to the optic nerve which sends vision signals to the brain — but recent thinking is that glaucoma stems from a disorder of the optic nerve.

This then damages the control of fluid in the eye. And this pressure then further damages the optic nerve, leading to a gradual loss of vision at the edges of vision which gradually closes in. (Another form, narrow-angle glaucoma, comes on quickly, causing a painful red eye and needs urgent treatment.) Although glaucoma is most common in adults over the age of 70, anyone over the age of 40 who goes for an eye test will be examined by an optician for it.

This involves measuring the pressure in the eye, and checking for deterioration in the peripheral vision. Best practice is to be screened for this every two years — the fact that glaucoma progresses slowly means there is nothing to be gained by testing more frequently. This is not so much a cutback as a sensible policy to ensure that, at a time of limited resources, nobody is missed out.

Those at higher risk — people who have a close relative with the diagnosis — will be advised to have more frequent screening.

If glaucoma is diagnosed then you need to be immediately referred to an ophthalmologist: after further tests, most people would then be started on regular eye drops that reduce the pressure in the eye and the potential for ongoing nerve damage.

My view is that it is acceptable for you to be screened every two years. I understand you are not confident in this but if the pressure in your eyes has been stable and if there has not been a gradually increasing trend over the years, then I think you have little to fear.

Write to Dr Scurr 

Write to Dr Scurr at Good Health, Daily Mail, 9 Derry Street, London, W8 5HY or email: drmartin@dailymail.co.uk — include contact details. Dr Scurr cannot enter into personal correspondence. Replies should be taken in a general context. Consult your own GP with any health worries. 

What is an NFT? (34%)

Non-fungible tokens (NFTs) are generally digital art pieces or music that can be bought or traded online. 

These are unique computer files encrypted with an artist’s signature. As a result, they cannot be replicated, acting as a digital certificate of ownership and authenticity. 

In other words, buying an NFT is almost like the more traditional purchasing of fine art – except in a digital form. 

Artists can sell pieces that may be tricky to advertise otherwise, such as digital stickers.

Depending on the usage rights, purchasers can sometimes post these online.   

How do I use ChatGPT? (31%)

ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence chatbot that can produce human-like text responses.

This can be used for various purposes such as writing cover letters, code or even planning a wedding.

Here’s how to use it:

1. Head to https://openai.com/blog/chatgpt
2.  Click Sign up in the top right corner to make an account
3.  This will prompt you to fill out your email address and new password
4. A confirmation message will then be sent to your email address
5. Verify this and fill out the other details required (birthday, name etc)
6. After that, ChatGPT can be selected, bringing you to a messaging platform
7. The ‘send a message’ bar can be used to type whatever questions come to mind 

How do they work out the price of gas and electricity? (29%)

Individual energy suppliers set their own gas and electricity prices, making it important to choose your provider carefully.

Yet, EDF claims the price you pay for power is largely set by the ‘marginal generation unit’. This refers to whatever power type being used – with gas being cheapest and coal more expensive.

But some energy providers have deals for different times of the day, with lower rates often kickstarting at night.

What exactly is a black hole? (27%)

Black holes are so dense and their gravitational pull is so strong that no form of radiation can escape them – not even light.

They act as intense sources of gravity which hoover up dust and gas around them. Their intense gravitational pull is thought to be what stars in galaxies orbit around.

How they are formed is still poorly understood. Astronomers believe they may form when a large cloud of gas up to 100,000 times bigger than the sun, collapses into a black hole.

Many of these black hole seeds then merge to form much larger supermassive black holes, which are found at the centre of every known massive galaxy.

Alternatively, a supermassive black hole seed could come from a giant star, about 100 times the sun’s mass, that ultimately forms into a black hole after it runs out of fuel and collapses.

When these giant stars die, they also go ‘supernova’, a huge explosion that expels the matter from the outer layers of the star into deep space.

How are interest rates set? (26%)

Interest rates are decided by the Monetary Policy Committee of the Bank of England. 

This is made up of nine members who aim to ensure that inflation is kept low and stable.

The rate influences what is paid to commercial banks that hold money with the Bank of England. 

This affects the rates at which banks charge people to borrow money.

What are the rules of cricket? (26%)

Cricket is an English game played between two teams of 11 in a large field.

Traditionally, both teams take turn batting and fielding, with the latter being the act of catching the ball. 

Active SG writes: ‘The main objective in cricket is to score as many runs as possible against the opponent.

‘Each cricket match consists of periods known as innings, and the number of innings that each team has will be determined before the match, usually one or two. 

‘During an inning, one team bats the ball while the other attempts to field. Both teams take turns alternating between batting and fielding.’ 

What are macros and how do I work them out? (25%)

Macro-nutrients (shortened to ‘macros’ by those in the know) are nutrients required to give us energy to keep our body functioning.

The three macro-nutrients are fats, carbohydrates and proteins and by consuming the correct amount of macro-nutrients for your desired results, whether that is muscle gain, fat loss or toning up, you are more likely to achieve your bodily goals.

Macros are a fairly simple method to allow you to count your three food groups.

This is worked out via a ratio format, the basic ratio is 40 per cent carbohydrates, 30 per cent fat and 30 per cent protein.

But the exact amount needed should account for your height, weight and desire goal.

How do I do my tax return? (25%)

A tax return involves calculating how much incomes earned is to be paid to the Government as taxes.

Business owners and those with other income, such as support payments, must complete tax returns.

To complete a tax return, head to https://www.gov.uk/self-assessment-tax-returns, or call HMRC and request a form.

Telephone: 0300 200 3610

Outside the UK: +44 161 930 8331

What is the solar system? (20%)

A solar system refers to a group of planets which orbit a host star such as the Sun. 

Earth and Mars are among eight planets bound to the Sun as a result of gravity.

There are also dozens of moons and millions of asteroids and comets in our solar system, according to NASA. 

These come in all shapes and sizes, with the largest asteroid being around 329 miles (530 kilometers) in diameter.

How much protein should I eat? (17%)

Adults need around 0.75g of protein per kilo of body weight per day, the British Heart Foundation claims.

Generally, this could be two portions of meat, fish or tofu that fit into the palm of your hand.

Yet, most Brits eat almost twice as much as this which can lead to heart disease and diabetes in the worst cases. 

However, athletes should be fine to eat this amount providing they train more than once a day.

What is my dog thinking about? (17%)

Pet owners can read the minds of their beloved pooches by looking at their body language, research by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance claims.

Happy dogs generally wag their tails, while anxious dogs may growl and back away. 

Experts even believe it’s possible that dogs may even think about the future on a day-to-day basis.

ASPCA cited their wolf ancestors as a reason for this, who would have needed to think about the next meal or a safe spot to rest. 

What is the difference between a noun, verb and adjective? (15%)

Nouns are places, people and things. So, for example, ‘MailOnline’ is a noun (as it’s a thing), and Harry Potter (a name) is also a noun.

Adjectives are often referred to as ‘describing words’, often used in literature to bring a setting to life.

So, ‘delighted’, ‘blue’ or ‘icy’ are all adjectives used to describe different nouns.

Happy Potter (noun) is delighted (adjective).

Finally, verbs are generally referred to as ‘doing words’, used to indicate an action or state is occurring.

Running, walking and smiling are all considered to be verbs.

So – Harry Potter (noun) is delighted (adjective) to be running (verb).  

What is the difference between ‘affect’ and ‘effect’? (14%)

‘Affect’ is used as a verb, while ‘effect’ is generally used as a noun in sentences.

For example, you could say ‘the weather affected his mood’, or ‘the weather had an effect on his mood’.

What are the rules of modern dating? (11%)
According to a study exploring the dos and don’ts of dating, you shouldn’t lock lips until the second date or connect on Facebook until at least the third.

 And don’t even dream of jumping into bed with them before the fourth rendezvous.

The research, commissioned by TLC’s new dating show Undressed, also suggests that men should be the first text after a successful date and women should respond within a quarter of an hour if keen.

When it comes to messaging, a maximum of two kisses is all that is required as an end note. 

Any more might be too ‘over the top’, while any less could apparently come across as ‘cold’. A definite no-no is waiting for the other person to text first. 

Half of the 1,500 Brits quizzed in the study said it was important for their potential love interest to make contact first – which means the other half of daters will be left disappointed.

It seems that ‘playing it cool’ isn’t in vogue anymore either. A third of respondents said they would text back within a quarter of an hour, with only five percent saying they’d wait as long as two hours.

How do I retune a TV? (11%)

Many TV may need to be retuned when a new service launches or a change has taken place.

While this can take place automatically, there may be times when you need to do it manually. 

Freeview explains how to do so on their site: 

1.  Press menu on your TV or remote control
2. Press set up before selecting installation and then update
3. If asked for a password, the default code is usually 0000 or 1234
4. An option called factory reset, full retune or first-time installation should then appear.
5. Press this before selecting ok

How to understand the clocks going back and forwards? (10%)

Clocks have moved forward an hour every spring since WW1 in a bid for longer evenings and to conserve coal, before being reverted back at the end of October.

Simply put, it’s a way of making the most of natural daylight hours at different times of the year. 

In the UK, clocks go forward by one hour at 1am on the last Sunday of March.

They go back again by one hour on the last Sunday in October every year.

How much should I tip? (9%)

It is a dilemma every holidaymaker has faced while dining out overseas: should you leave a tip?

Research shows this largely varies based on where you are in the world, with the US receiving the biggest tips of all at 20 per cent.

Yet, tips are usually 5 to 10 per cent in the UK and Germany, according to Hawaiian Islands.

But in Japan, Sweden, Australia and Norway no tips are expected at all.

Sara Benwell, Consumer Editor at Good Housekeeping, said: ‘In Japan, there is a no-tipping culture, and you may offend your waiter if you try to give him some money, while in America, tips are very much expected, and it’s rude if you don’t leave anything.

‘In France, the service charge must be included in the bill by law. However, many locals will also leave some coins as an extra sign of appreciation.’

How do I pronounce ‘Worcestershire sauce’? (8%)

According to Google, speakers should pronounce it as ‘wu – stuh – saws’.  

The ‘shire’ is not said as it might be in other English words such as ‘Hampshire’ and ‘Berkshire’. 

What goes on a scone first the cream or jam? (7%)

It depends on who you ask.

The scone war has long divided people in Devon and Cornwall, with Devonians preferring cream first, and Cornish, jam first. 

But recently, ChatGPT said it would opt for the ‘Devon method’ of putting the clotted cream on the scone first, followed by the jam on top.

Its choice has enraged many scone fans on Twitter, with comedian Dawn French replying: ‘You are a robot with no taste (literally & figuratively) & no respect for all that is holy. And right.’

The big question was posed to ChatGPT by the @VeryBritishProblems Twitter account.

It replied: ‘As an AI language model, I don’t actually have the ability to eat scones or have a personal preference, but if I had to choose between the two methods, I would probably go for the Devon method of putting the clotted cream on the scone first, followed by the jam on top.

‘I think it’s because the cream acts as a base, allowing the jam to spread more easily and making for a smoother overall taste.

‘However, again, it’s really up to personal preference, and both methods have their merits!’

Yet, late Queen Elizabeth II is said to have preferred the Cornish method, according to Darren McGrady who once cooked for her.

How do I stream the latest TV show? (6%)

Netflix, Sky Stream, Amazon Prime and Disney+ are among numerous streaming services that offer TV shows.

These can be watched on a TV, computer or even a mobile device providing that relevant apps are installed.